5 Tips for planning YOUR perfect wedding day

While I’m not married yet, we’re only a few months away! September hurry up, and coronavirus hurry up and leave. Time seems to be simultaneously flying by and slowing down.

Even though we haven’t had our wedding yet, I’ve already learned a whole lot throughout the planning process. Being on the other side of the vendor and client relationship has opened my eyes to a lot. I thought I had a good idea of what went into planning and organizing from all the weddings I have been to – but I was wrong.

I want to share a few things I’ve learned so far!

1. Communicate with your partner

It is your wedding day – but you can’t marry yourself. Just because your partner may have more opinions about wedding-related decisions – don’t cut the other person out. While our society seems to pin the majority of wedding planning on the bride – we should not forget the groom. 

So prioritize that communication. Before you begin planning, sit down and really talk through how you want to feel throughout your wedding day – and figure out how to make that happen. Thankfully for my fiancé and I, we have similar personalities – we don’t love being the center of attention – so we knew a big wedding wasn’t for us. But where that wedding would take place was one of our bigger decisions that we had to talk through. Stephen was hoping for a tropical destination wedding – we looked at that option thoroughly – but logistically it made me anxious – I knew I would be too worried about people getting there and sand. I don’t like sand. sand + wedding dress = big nope. So we are still having a destination wedding but in a place that’s a little easier to access and will hopefully go somewhere tropical for our honeymoon.

Stephen and I both value high quality and delicious food. I always said I would never have multiple venues for our wedding – I knew logistically that would make things more stressful (aka make me stressed) – but we had to compromise to have the best food possible. So we will have our reception at a restaurant instead of at our ceremony venue.

Maybe your parter has always dreamt of having a wedding with all of their friends, but because you’ve voiced wanting to elope for so long – they’re afraid to say anything different! I know this may seem very simple – but I can’t stress enough prioritizing communication with your partner – open and honest communication about what you truly want your wedding to look and feel like.  

While you may not care what color the napkins are or who your uncle Joe sits next to – you will care if you look back on your wedding day and realize it was nothing like you expected because you didn’t speak up for what you actually wanted.

Communication is key in planning a wedding that represents both of you! You’re in this together! 

2. Prioritize Vendors

Sticker shock is a real thing when it comes to wedding planning. The cost of weddings can be alarming when you first start looking for vendors – if I weren’t in the wedding industry, I would have no idea what a wedding actually costs.  

When you first start planning, you may feel like you want it all! The florists, the live band, the videography team, photography team, the full bar package and everything in between. Which is wonderful – don’t get me wrong – it’s your wedding you can do whatever you want – but it may not fit in your budget.  

So prioritizing what vendors are most important to you both from the beginning can help you establish proper budget allocation to those things. If your photographer is super important to you and you both know that from the start you may be more willing to sacrifice the live band and opt for a DJ instead.  

You and your partner may have different ideas on which vendors are most important to you. Prioritizing the vendors that are most important to you from the get-go will help eliminate future stresses and budget conflicts.  

For us – the photographer was super important to me and the cake. I’ve got a sweet tooth 😋. For Stephen, it was the food. So we knew that we would prioritize photography, catering and a cake.  

Prioritizing your vendors will not only help with budgeting but also with booking. You can prioritize the order in which you book your vendors. Vendors book up anywhere between 6-20 months in advance so as you get closer to your wedding dates the number of vendor options will be less and less. So if you have had your eye set on a particular vendor for some time don’t hesitate to reach out ASAP if it’s one of your prioritized vendors!

3. Screen Vendor Communication  

As you start to reach out to vendors and start the booking process watch how they communicate. While it may seem obvious to not work with someone who doesn’t communicate well, but it seems that people are willing to put up with poor communication when it comes to wedding planning.  

From the very start of our wedding planning process, we have run into more communication issues than I ever thought. I guess because I prioritize communication in my business, I expected every vendor to do the same – but I was wrong. I was amazed by how long it took vendors to respond to my inquiry or get back to me with questions.  

If you’re having trouble connecting with vendors from the very start, I would personally proceed with caution. Weddings are time-sensitive affairs and something that take a lot of planning and communication. They are a team effort – all vendors working together to create the best possible day for their clients – communication is key in the process.  

When Stephen and I started planning, I was shocked that it took people over a week to respond to my initial inquiry or that I got no response at all. We are getting married in a mountain town, so communication is slower, to begin with, but this was way longer than I expected. I truly had no idea what brides went through, simply trying to communicate with vendors.  

If you see red flags from the start of your vendor booking process pause and second and see if you really want them to be a part of your team. I promise there are vendors out there who communicate well and that they are worth it!  

4. YOU DO YOU 

I’ll say it again. This is your wedding day – a day to share and celebrate the love you two share with your friends and family.  

Not a day for your aunt to live vicariously through you. Your friends and family are going to share their opinions and desires. There’s nothing wrong with that – they are most likely just trying to help, but be cautious that you don’t let the noise of others drown out your desires.  

Even if your parents or family are paying for your wedding, there is a balance between doing what they want because they are paying and standing up for what you truly want your day to be like.  

Those who are there to celebrate you and your relationship won’t care what it looks like or where it takes place – they’ll just want to be a part of it. If your mom is asking you to invite her college roommate who you’ve never met – ask her why it’s so important for her to be there?  

The thing I hear time and time again is that couples are forced into inviting 50+ people they don’t even know. I understand that family members want to share and celebrate with you guys – that’s wonderful – but there has to be a line drawn somewhere. I would say 95% of my couples tell me they wish they invited fewer people – I’m not exaggerating and about 40% say they wish they eloped.  

I can’t stress enough to advocate or what’s important to you! You don’t have to be rude or be calling ultimatums, but you should stand up for yourself – after all, it’s YOUR wedding day.  

This is a time to celebrate the unique love and relationship that you share and the people that helped you get to this day. Celebrate that in whatever way feels right for you – just because someone did something pretty on Pinterest or your friend had 13 bridesmaids doesn’t mean that you have to!

For Stephen and I, we are practicing what I preach to all of my couples,  “You do you” – our wedding will be no traditional, tiny and uniquely us. I will share more details after the wedding, but we’re forgoing  “norms” and creating a day that is truly us.  

You do you.  

5. Don’t lose sight 

My final and I would say the most important reminder is not to lose sight of the end goal.  

Spending forever with your best friend! How awesome is that!  

Engagement seasons can quickly be overrun with wedding planning. But it doesn’t have to be. The engagement season is also time to prepare for your marriage – I feel like everyone focuses so much attention on their wedding they lose sight of the fact that it’s just the beginning of a much bigger story – your marriage.  

Don’t lose sight that you’re getting to marry your best friend!  

However, you get there, and whatever that looks like is totally up to you.